


Missing You

by ImperfectOrphanage



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-06-01 02:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperfectOrphanage/pseuds/ImperfectOrphanage
Summary: A bittersweet story in which Joshua adopts a kitten and finds he should have left well enough alone.





	1. Chapter 1

Joshua was feeling quite stupid. He had read all of the manuals about being a Composer and studied online about ways to get around the personal relationships rule. Having wanted to keep Neku as a friend, he had gone through archives dating back to the twenties. There were no personal relationships allowed by the High Council. Not one mention of a positive outcome for those involved. However, this was not why the thirty-six year old Composer was fretting about his mental faculties.

No, he was stupid-clearly-for never thinking about getting a pet. He had plenty of space in the apartment to adopt an animal. He had fish in the Pad for God’s sake. How the idea never came to him did make him wonder if he were getting old despite his being a Composer.

But what sort of pet would he want? The fish were cared for by machines and kept healthy through the power of the Underground. He could, essentially, adopt an animal and keep it for centuries if he so wished, but there was something about the idea that rankled in him. It would not be fair to keep an animal past their time, just as it would not have been fair to keep Neku as a young companion.

“Alright,” he said to no one, seeing as he was alone in his apartment, “what to get…”

Joshua took a couple quizzes online and did a little research on exotic pets. None of them piqued his interest. He did more research on traditional pets such as mice and other small mammals. There were dogs and cats and rabbits he could have chosen from as well. But nothing caught him.

Perhaps he should have kept Neku as a pet.

It was far too late now, however. Ten years had passed and Neku would be twenty-five and growing. Joshua had made it an unwritten rule in his book to not check up on his proxy. It would not do to dwell on the past and interfere with what he hoped would be a good citizen of Shibuya. Speaking of, perhaps he had moved away? No, Joshua would have felt it. He felt everyone who left.

Scrolling through the pages of animals on a random pet search website, he saw a small kitten no older than weaning age. She was fluffy and white, and had two brilliant blue eyes. They stared into his soul and before he thought to question it, he clicked on her bio.

“Kitten 100-8b,” Joshua read. “Oh, good heavens. You cannot name a cat that.”

_Nine weeks old. Weaned. Shots._

Joshua debated. He slid away from the computer, ate an apple, watched the sky outside of his balcony window, and went back to the computer. The submit application button was glowing red and he shrugged off all other thought to click it. He would need to give some personal information up front, but with a quick snap of the fingers the person would not even remember who Joshua or the cat was upon pickup.

That was if Joshua was accepted.

He quickly filled in all the details and submitted a couple snaps of his apartment to sweeten the deal. Any kitten would love to live in such a streamlined, open space. There wasn’t much for her to get into as Joshua kept everything put away. He liked the clean lines of his furniture and the sparse decorations he placed on shelves and-

Oh. Those were breakable. He would need to get rid of those.

However, he remembered seeing a show where a man made his house into the perfect cat spot. There were tunnels above and little hiding spaces in the walls. Joshua smiled and opened an email to request Sanae’s services in designing such a feature.

He knew when the email was read. Sanae showed up immediately after.

“What’s this now?”

“Sanae, dear.” He stood up, knowing his few inches above the angel would give him an advantage-ah, he’d need flea and tick medicine. “I am going to adopt a cat.”

“Are you sure-“

“I checked. There are no rules against it. Look at her, Sanae,” he turned the laptop around, “isn’t she the cutest?”

“Oh, my God,” Sanae squeaked. He then coughed and regained his composure. “I mean, no, fuck. How can you take care of an animal when I’m always taking care of _you_?”

“Oh, you big meanie. I care quite well for myself.”

“What did you have for dinner?”

“An apple.”

“When did you last eat a meal?”

“…that isn’t important.”

“Animals have to eat daily, y’know.”

“True. I will have an automatic feeder installed. One of those cute ones you can fix to the wall so precious little 100-8b won’t knock it over.”

Sanae was incredulous. “You can’t call it that.”

“One-zero-zero…” he whispered, “dash-eight-b…hm…what to call her?”

“Usually it’s customary for someone ta get a feel fer tha cat first.”

Joshua grinned. “Alright. As soon as they okay my application I will start on names. She isn’t mine yet, but she will be. I am assured of it. Now. I want to see plans for a cat condo. She needs the best.”

“Well, what we gotta do is get rid of these things…work some boxes and hiding holes out in this bookshelf y’don’t use…an’ maybe put a long tunnel runnin’ down the wall here…under the paintin’…”

Standing back, Joshua folded his arms over his chest. All it took was a few words and a cute picture and suddenly CAT was in action. Perhaps if he did a good job he could start designing such things for magazines. Ooh, Joshua could make cat ownership a trend.

No. People would adopt them without thought.

“I will leave you to your work, Sanae. I have further research to do for my little stinker. Oh, I could call her Stinker. What do you-“

He noticed Sanae wasn’t paying attention. The man had a tape measure out and was marking notches into the wall with his pencil. CAT was completely lost to the art of design.

Which was fine by Joshua. He needed silence to plan.

\---

The waiting room of the veterinarian’s office was busy with animals of many persuasions. Joshua saw a small cage with a rat inside, a large kennel with a Doberman, and a small satchel with a cat peeking out of the grid work on the side. He hated having to put the kitten in a box, as it grew up in a whelping pin, but it was protocol and he didn’t want her to be eaten by the dogs. She was smaller than the picture showed, and she could easily sit in Joshua’s wide palm.

“Kiryu, Joshua?”

He cradled the fabric carrier close to his chest as he rose and went to the reception desk. They ushered him to the back of the clinic and into one of the rooms. It was decorated with playful, animated kittens and balls of yarn running along the wall. He smiled and set the carrier down on the metal table before sliding the zipper open. The kitten peeked out cautiously and dove back in.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart.” The veterinary intern cooed. She reached into the bag and pulled out the fluff of white. The kitten mewled and meowed for its mother, but was easily taken to the scale to be weighed. Coming in at a whopping three point five pounds, the kitten cried until it was put back onto the table. Before she could get back in the bag, however, the intern stuck a thermometer up the poor thing’s backside and it beeped.

The sound frightened the kitten and she yowled before biting hard into a gloved finger. She ran, thermometer still stuck in her bottom, and nearly fell off the table. Joshua quickly scooped her up and handed her back to the intern.

“Are you alright? Did she hurt you?”

“No,” the intern laughed it off, “I’ve had worse. Those milk teeth though. They can sure cut.”

Once the temperature was checked, the intern allowed the kitten back in the bag.

“The vet will be with you shortly.”

And with that, they were alone. Joshua peeked into the bag to see the kitten licking its chest and belly before turning a narrowed gaze at Joshua. The kitten seemed to say, “fuck you” with an elegant bat of the eyes. He attempted to soothe her, but any movement into the bag was met with a swipe.

“Now, now. I don’t like the doctor either but you need a register of health. Don’t give me that look,” he warned the kitten. “I won’t feed you any milk.”

The door opened and a man around twenty-five entered. “You shouldn’t. Milk is bad for cats.”

Joshua would remember the moment for eternity. He looked the man up and down, and then back up for good measure. “N-neku?”

“Hey, you know my name,” the man laughed. “Most people call me Doctor Sakuraba.”

Of all the veterinarian clinics in all of Shibuya…Joshua picked the one-THE ONE-with Neku. How would he explain this to the council? The name on the website wasn’t anywhere close to Sakuraba, and he looked through the entire-

“I’m new though, so that’s not a lot of people.”

“Joshua,” he said, quickly. He didn’t want to look stupid. “Joshua Kiryu and this is…well…I’m not sure what to call her yet though she is being quite the rude one.”

Neku smirked. He dug in his pocket, took a treat from a bag, and set it on the table. “C’mon, kitty kitty. No one can resist these little fishy bites.”

If the cat had sound affects her appearance would have been denoted by a pop. She leapt from the bag and onto the table to eat the treat. Though her expression was wary, she glared the most at Joshua.

“Good girl. Ah,” he caught her before she could hide again, “don’t do that. I’m just going to check your little teeth…there we are. And let’s see your eyes and ears…perfect. I know you don’t like people touching your little rump but I have to, okay?”

It was almost as if Neku was a cat whisperer. He spelled the kitten with his voice and was able to take not only a fecal sample, but a blood sample as well. Once done, he set the kitten back in the bag and nodded to Joshua. “Good job, Dad. She’s a princess. Give me about ten minutes for the blood test.”

“Yes, sir,” he squeaked.

The door shut behind him and Joshua peered into the bag. She was washing again, but she seemed less capable of murder. Joshua picked her up and let her crawl over his chest and arms. Into the sweater she went, and underneath her Joshua placed his arms. She was purring now, and eventually fell asleep.

But the minute Neku came back into the room she was crawling from her hiding spot and looking at him for another treat. He gave her one, and she disappeared back into the sweater with a crunch, crunch.

“Okay. The previous owner had all the shots done. I got the record from the other vet. She’s clean on the fecal and the blood test, and she looks perfectly healthy. Would you like to schedule her spay for six months from now or wait?”

“Oh, you have to wait?”

Neku stared at him.

“Of course. Of course. She’s too small. To be honest, Nek-ahem,” he smiled, “Doctor Sakuraba, this would be my first pet. I have not even a proper name.”

He flipped to the front of the chart. “Ah. I see that. Kitten 001-8b. Why don’t you call her something later and we’ll update the chart. It’s going to be a name for a long time so you need to think hard about it.”

_You have no idea how long…_

Joshua nodded and offered his hand to shake.

As soon as their fingers touched, Joshua felt a tingle of familiarity and it tickled through his skin and deep into the bone. Neku looked at him oddly, but shrugged it off and gave him a happy goodbye. The intern came in and led the two of them back out of the room and into the reception area to pay. Once done, Joshua put his baby back in the carrier and held it close to his chest.

Oh, Sanae would not be thrilled about this.


	2. Chapter 2

“He’s a what now.”

Joshua sat on his pristine white sofa with the kitten in his lap. She was busy playing with bits of string and the ties to Joshua’s hoodie. Sanae was in the middle of placing a bit of wood on the wall for a kitten walkway, and had almost nailed his finger instead of the slender board.

“A veterinarian. Doctor Neku Sakuraba.” Joshua sighed affectedly. “Apparently, he’s new.”

“Shit. You’ll hafta find a new one,” the barista grumbled quietly. He said something further but Joshua was certain it wasn’t for those with delicate ears.

“I can’t. It would be rude to. He doesn’t remember me at all, actually. I’m sure it would be fine. The Higher Ups will need to cool their heels on this until I am certain it will be a problem. I do miss the boy but,” Joshua giggled as the kitten swatted his fingers, “he was far too young for my taste.”

“Yer what now? Thirty-six?”

“Mmhm. He’s twenty-five or so. Young for a vet, but he was always an exceptional pupil even in his darkest of times. I did not follow much of him after the game. It was his life to live,” Joshua paused, “not mine. Though now I’m curious on where the others went off to. Oh, and those other players around that time and maybe a few in the past I took a liking to. There was the one I had a fling with, but that was long ago.”

“That was five years ago.”

“You see? Long,” he said, and picked the kitten up. “Oh, you are just being a feisty little dickens aren’t you, my sweet pet? Perhaps we should call her Dickens.”

Sanae hissed as he nailed his thumb with the hammer. “Son of a bitch. No, that’s a man’s name.”

“Language, Sanae. Not around our baby.”

Another hit, another curse.

“I think I will go out. You are being naughty and Dickens needs to learn I won’t always be here. Can you watch her for a bit? I’ll put her in her playpen.”

“Josh, I don’t think-“

“Oh, nonsense. You’ll do fine.” Joshua fluffed his hood back behind his shoulders and adjusted the ties to hang even with each other. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and started for the door. When the doorbell decided to chime, he jumped, mostly because he _never_ had visitors, and of the one or two he might have, they never used the bell.

Upon opening the door he saw a basket of toys and kitten food left in front. There was a ding and the elevator began to go down several floors. He took the basket and pulled the card off while shutting the door with his hips.

“Oh! It’s a present from the clinic. Welcome to your new pet. Here are some things to get you started and a list of things you need to know is included.”

“Uh, Josh?”

“I know, I know, it isn’t protocol to have a relationship with past players but I promise I’m not-“

He had turned at the right moment and immediately began to laugh.

Dickens had climbed up the wall with Sanae’s already completed walkway and was sitting on top of the barista’s head with very little balance outside of claws. Joshua quickly pulled the kitten free and placed her back in the little playpen. “You naughty little Dickens.”

“Okay, okay, fine. I’ll watch the cat but I ain’t workin’ while doin’ it!”

Joshua gave Sanae a cute kiss on his stubbled chin and left the apartment to the sound of the older man cooing to the white ball of fluff.

He rode the elevator down and waited for the doors to open before pressing through a crowd of people waiting to go up. It was late afternoon and many of the businesses and such were closing. The time for work was done and the time for family was approaching. Dinners would be served, meals would be eaten in front of the television, and families would chat about their happy lives.

Joshua often wondered what it would be like to come home to a family, but for now he was happy to have Sanae and Dickens. He did have a rather nice Conductor, but after working for a week or two, another replacement had to be called. Apparently, Joshua was too much to handle.

He never saw himself that way. Just because he was a stickler for certain rules and a breaker of many others did not mean he was difficult to work for. He enjoyed a few pranks and a little playful behavior and yet not one of those stuffy Higher Ups could stay for longer than a month. Eventually he would need to come up with a person better suited to the position, but even that had failed several times since Megumi. Megumi had been the one to remain by him through all of the crazy behavior. He had stayed by him to the point of pain and beyond. Now the man he needed most was an excellent paper pusher upstairs and very happy to be one.

They wrote emails back and forth, had a standing lunch date every fifth Sunday, and a decent back and forth of gifts and cards. They had no ill will between them. Joshua loved Megumi as much as he had before, if not a bit more since the man was now happy, too.

A particularly loud crash of thunder caught Joshua’s attention and he pulled his hoodie over his hair to keep it from getting wet. The rain was only a drizzle, but the darkening skies were warning of things to come. By the time he made it to the Scramble his hoodie was not the best defense as the storm rolled in and began to pour on the citizens of Shibuya.

Popping into 10-4 he went to the best place to buy cute umbrellas-Mus Rattus. Though not a perfect fan of their clothing, he did have some of it around and on his lazy days he liked to lounge in it. There was a sale on mascot umbrellas and he purchased one with the little mascot dancing in the rain. It was plastic and see-thru where the pattern wasn’t printed, and perfect for the simple outfit he wore. He thanked the staff and left the building to stand under the rain.

He wondered what Neku was doing tonight. Did he have a family to rush home to? Surely someone married him. It would be cute if it were Shiki who did, since the two were quite inseparable there for a bit. Though it wouldn’t be too distant to think Beat finally got his game together and maybe, cutely, _they_ got together.

Joshua giggled to himself and began walking toward the Sunshine Stationside. He had a craving for something thick and juicy…

\---

Neku had forgotten his umbrella again. When he finally got home to his shared studio apartment, he was soaking wet. He took his coat off in the foyer and hung it on the hook with his name above it. Next to his hook was an empty one for Shiki, and next to it was a hook for Beat that held a similarly dripping wet coat. Neku could smell the scent of ramen over the moisture in the foyer and he quickly removed his shoes to go and check on what dinner would be.

The apartment was open to everything except for the bathroom in the corner. There was brick work on the wall as it had been an industrial building before being turned into apartments. On the wall opposite the door were three large windows and a great view of the…well…the top of several buildings.

“Yo, Beat, what’s for dinner?” He called as he closed the distance between him and the bulky chef. “Shio, Shoyu, or something special?”

Beat turned to give Neku a heavy, hard hug. “Welcome home, Neku. I’mma makin’ something spicy with fish and extra thick broth.”

“Smells good,” Neku said as he leaned over the pot, “can’t wait to fork it in.”

“Yeah, yeah. Rhyme’s runnin’ late from school an’ the girls are out shoppin’ again. Go on an’ get comfy cause yer drippin’ all over tha place.”

Neku slapped Beat on the back in a friendly manner and went to the rack where they kept all of their clothing. Shiki and Eri did the shopping for all of them, because they demanded it be part of their rental agreement with the boys. They had to dress nice and fashionable or the girls couldn’t be seen with them. Neku assumed it was a joke at first, but at their serious stare he realized he had no choice. It wasn’t as if they could afford their own separate places.

At least, not yet. If Neku got enough money they could move into a better place and when the girls’ business kicked off they could find _their_ own place.

But for now, Neku was happy to have his friends with him. They’d been through so much. Most of which was spotty memories of the game, with the second week being all but forgotten. Sometimes Neku would dream about a silver-haired boy with an attitude, but he never saw him in the crowd. He’d looked closely for the first few weeks after the game, and not seeing him, he assumed the boy didn’t make it.

Surely if he did exist or was alive, he’d find the others.

“I’m home!” Rhyme called from the front door. She hung her coat on her hook and set her umbrella down to dry. “I see you guys forgot your umbrellas again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Neku mumbled from behind the curtain hanging near the rack of clothes. He quickly dressed in a nice pair of pajamas-checked flannel with cuffs at the sleeves and ankles. They were nice and soft and warm in the often times cold apartment.

“Is big brother making more ramen?” Rhyme was waiting for Neku on the other side of the curtain. “Smells good, doesn’t it?”

He opened the curtain and nodded. “Something spicy and special with fish and thick broth.”

“Ooh. I love fish! Excuse me, brother, I need to get out of my wet stuff, too.”

Neku smiled and closed the curtain once she was inside the little nook. He decided to try and help Beat in the kitchen but the man didn’t have much for him to do outside of setting out plates and silverware on the kotatsu-the only real table they had. He took a seat and started playing on his phone, trying to get ahead for the next day. There were several surgeries planned, but thank goodness his partner took care of those. Neku hated to think of the day he had to cut an animal open for any reason, but it’d come eventually.

“We’re home!”

Eri and Shiki came in, loaded with bags of groceries and a few bits of fabric and such. It looked like it’d be another long night for the two. They’d be planning outfits and sewing mock ups. In the corner specifically designed for creation. It was supposed to be the main living area, but they had no couch and not a lot of furniture outside of a drawing desk, futon rolls, and the kotatsu.

“We got the cutest pattern today, Neku. It’s going to be perfect for a baby! Look!” Eri held up some cotton printed with little ducks. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, but who’s going to model it? I don’t think we have a baby.”

“It’s okay, I can borrow my niece from my sister. She’s still young enough to pull off a boy’s outfit. Oh! It’s going to be dar-ling~!”

Neku laughed.

He loved his family.


	3. Chapter 3

Dickens was in a time out.

The naughty kitten had climbed up the side of Joshua’s favorite curtains hanging from the balcony doors. They were imported from France and specifically designed to hang on _that_ particular set of doors. Joshua had admonished the little monster and put her in the playpen with a flattened cardboard box stacked on top to keep her in.

Though, he could hardly blame the kitten since it happened on Sanae’s watch. He had told the barista not to work while watching his little prize, but no. No, the man continued to do things until there was food spilled in the floor, water all over the kitchen sink area, and the tears in the curtain. It was a massacre in the clean apartment with straight lines and perfect molding.

“Now, you stay in there for fifteen minutes.”

“That ain’t gonna work, boss.”

“And you, go stand in the corner for five.”

Sanae stared at him. “Yer jokin’, right?”

“No,” he said, serious. “Go stand in the corner, you horrible man.”

“I am not-“

Joshua let his Composer power flare just a fraction and Sanae knew he meant business. The barista cursed and used as much foul language as he could. The man would never do well in a prison, that was obvious.

“Now. I am going to order in. Who would like a little Italian food?”

“Are ya talkin’ ta me,” Sanae said, voice muffled from facing away, “or the cat?”

“What nonsense, Sanae, dear. I’m talking to you. A cat cannot eat Italian food. At least, not the spicy kind. She has the best food and snacks money can buy.” Joshua glanced at the clock. “You have three minutes and she has twelve.”

“It isn’t gonna work on a cat. Cats can’t be trained.”

“I trained you, didn’t I?”

Sanae growled low in his throat.

He quickly backpedaled but made sure not to look too obvious. “Oh, look, you’ve been caught with good behavior. Come out of the corner, Sanae.”

“I swear ta God, J, one day…” he trailed off. “Italian. From tha restaurant, not tha deli. Extra cheese on tha side an’ don’t skimp on tha portions.”

“Ooh, someone is hungry.” Joshua took his phone and scrolled through the contacts. He found the section with restaurants and clicked the number for the local restaurant. Waiting for someone to answer, he wiggled his fingers at the play pen. “Ah, yes, this is Kiryu, Joshua. Of course. The usual will be alright, but not the small portions. Yes. The largest you have. We are extra hungry tonight. Oh? We would like two death by chocolates then. How divine you have dessert now. Thank you!”

The kitten was watching him the entire time he ordered. She looked pissed off, but also had a pleading gaze in her wide, blue eyes. Joshua couldn’t handle it. He took the box off the top and the kitten broke free from her prison.

“Yer bein’ soft,” Sanae teased.

“I thought you liked me soft?” He teased back. “Soft and willing and full on thick tomatoes and a little bit of lobster…”

“Stop it.”

Joshua giggled and fluffed his hair back over his shoulder.

It was fun to have someone to play with.

\---

_“Neku, you know I don’t like running.”_

Rolling over in his futon, Neku mumbled into the pillow that he was trying to sleep. He rubbed his face and pulled the sheets to his neck as he snuggled down against the chill in the air. It wasn’t that the room was cold but Neku _felt_ a chill on his skin.

_“Neku, do you need a break, dear?”_

He shook his head. It was going to be another one of those nights, huh?

_“Neku, don’t forget me, okay? Please?”_

The image of a startlingly beautiful creature formed in his mind. It wasn’t human. Not in the sense of being male or female, at least. There wasn’t a breast or a belly button, and further down into the light there wasn’t anything but light.

_“Neku, please. Don’t forget me.”_

His gaze travelled up the light to the belly, to the non-breasts, and to the exceptionally slender neck and arms. They were being held out to him in a comforting embrace, and the chill left his skin when he saw the two, glowing eyes staring at him.

_“Neku.”_

Wakefulness came to him immediately. He saw nothing but the wall past the sleeping form of Beat, and when he turned to lie on his back, he saw the glowing stars stuck to the ceiling of the apartment. It was humid in the apartment and someone had left a window open. Neku shimmied out of the blankets and away from the group who had taken to sleeping in a row. He walked quietly, not wanting to wake any of the others, and moved toward the window to close it.

On the glass, just behind his left shoulder, he saw the glowing form.

But when he turned…nothing. No one was there.

“Shit,” he cursed into his wrist. “Shit, shit.”

The noise woke Beat who was-oddly-a light sleeper. He rose from his futon and crossed the room to check on Neku. They weren’t exactly a couple but they had gotten awfully close over the last few years. Beat was like a mother to the family they had carved out, and to Neku, he was infinitely more.

“Hey, you okay?”

Neku nodded slowly. He felt sick.

“Here, sit down,” Beat whispered. He wouldn’t move until Neku was comfortable at the kotatsu.

“I’m fine, Beat, just…nightmares.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied with a gentle hiss. “Warm milk comin’ up.”

Beat’s warm milk always had a little almond flavoring and a bit of herbal remedies for calming. There was chamomile and that chemical in turkey that caused people to fall into food comas twice a year. It tasted a little sweet, but it always soothed Neku’s fraying nerves.

Sitting across from him, Beat slid the glass toward Neku. “Drink up.”

Neku reached out to thread his fingers with Beat’s. “Thanks. I think I’ll be okay. It’s just…him.”

“Again?”

He took a sip of the milk and sighed. “Yeah. I haven’t had one this bad in months. I could see him, Beat. He wasn’t a he though…he wasn’t anything. Just…light. Pure light and just…beautiful.”

“Should I be jealous, yo?”

Neku squeezed Beat’s fingers before taking another drink. “Nah. He’s not…like that. I met someone today who…well…sorta reminds me of him. He’s a bit older though. The kid I knew was my age. It couldn’t be him.”

“Where’d ya meet ‘im?” Beat had begun to trace shapes in the wood of the table with his free hand. “At work or on the street?”

“Work. He has,” Neku laughed quietly, “he has a kitten that he hasn’t named yet that bit one of my interns and acted like a total princess to me.”

Beat laughed under his breath. “A handful, eh? We need one of those.”

“The lease won’t allow pets.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’d think a cat’d be fine.”

Neku traced the curve of Beat’s wrist and up to the lines of his palm. He leaned forward, over the kotatsu, and gave the boy a soft kiss on the lips. “Thanks.”

“You’re my friend, Neku. I ain’t gonna leave ya. C’mon, I’ll hold ya till ya fall asleep, aight?”

Taking Beat’s hand, Neku set the empty glass down on the table and allowed the larger man to lead him to the futons laying side by side. He lay down first, followed by Beat, and the strong arms surrounding him made sure there wouldn’t be another dream that night.

But still. Neku wondered…if the being was made of light…it wasn’t human…it couldn’t be fifteen.

What if… _yawn_ …what if that man…

\---

Six months later and Joshua was once again at the veterinary clinic. He had scheduled the date for Dicken’s spaying months in advance, but there was still the wait to be checked in. Joshua felt like a horrible person for putting his itty witty baby precious through such a terrible ordeal, but even the Composer had to admit to Shibuya’s kitten problem. Sanae often fed several wild cats behind the café, and once they trusted him enough, he would catch them, take them to a clinic, and have them fixed. He often took care of them post operation, and the storeroom for the café currently held five such cats.

Sanae had offered to take Dickens to who he usually used, but Joshua did not want a free option, and wanted another excuse to see his proxy in action. Obviously, the surgeon on call would be doing the surgery since Neku seemed a bit squeamish when talking on operations.

“Kiryu, Joshua!”

Oh, it was time. He hugged the carrier to his chest and promised Dickens the best aftercare money could provide for her. “Please forgive me, little love.”

“She won’t hold it against you,” the receptionist said. “I can take her unless you have-“

“I have questions for Doctor Sakuraba.”

He was eyed oddly at the unusual lilt and quickness with which he answered but the woman nodded and walked to the back with the clipboard of Dickens’ surgery form. It took very little time for Neku to pop out of the back and come to the edge of the desk, and Joshua could see a bit of stubble on his chin.

“Hello, there,” Joshua said softly. “I am worried she will hate me for this. Not to mention, I have absolutely no idea how to care for her if I am not there to do so. I have a very busy schedule and-“

“Hey, hey,” Neku said, waving a hand, “just calm down there. She’s not going to hate you. She’s going to hate _everyone_ for a bit. If you can’t look after her, you can pay to board her here, but home is usually the best place to recuperate since it’s quiet and familiar.”

“I suppose I could…” Joshua tapped a finger against his chin. “Could I pay you to do it?”

“Specifically?”

“Yes.”

“Why? I’m a doctor, not a nurse.”

“Because I,” he paused, “like you?”

Neku blinked slowly. “T-that’s nice, Joshua, but I can’t. I promise it isn’t hard. Just put the collar on her and keep her from injuring her tummy. It only takes about a month for them to fully heal, but she’ll be up in a few days back to her old self.”

“Oh, good gracious, no. She is a spitfire. Should I keep her contained?”

“Well, yeah, if you think she’ll-“

“Do you want to come over to my apartment?”

The words were out. Joshua wasn’t sure _how_ the words got out but there they were between the two, floating like a sin. The world around was noisy and yet quiet, and the two locked eyes for what seemed to be fifteen hours and twenty-two seconds.

Joshua knew what eternity was, and this moment held no candle to it.

“I’m not…” Neku rubbed at his face. “I appreciate the offer, Mr. Kiryu.”

Uh oh. Last name. Not good.

“Forgive me. I very rarely meet good people with which to become friends. You are one of the best and brightest in Shibuya. I promise to be a good partner-err, friend.”

The word must have hit Neku like a slap in the face. He went pale, mouth agape, and suddenly he wasn’t there anymore. The clipboard was on the desk, the doctor had disappeared into the back, and the room resumed its usual cacophony of noise.

Joshua shivered. He signed the sheet at the bottom of the clipboard and handed his prize over to the waiting receptionist. Leaving the office, he felt sick to his stomach at what he had just done. He should have found another veterinarian. He should have left Neku well alone. He should have-

Well, he should have done a lot of things in his immortal existence but there was never a good reason to dwell on idiotic behaviors in the past.

He pulled his smartphone from his pocket and dialed Sanae’s number. It took two rings for the man to answer and when he did he sounded concerned. Joshua spilled everything from the request to be friends to the sudden fear in Neku’s face at the word partner. The man didn’t judge Joshua. He simply requested Joshua return home ASAP.

Joshua ducked into an alleyway and when he saw no one near, he teleported to his apartment. Sanae was already waiting for him, and Joshua felt his world shake and collapse as much as he did. Blubbering words and phrases poured from his sinful lips and he sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. Hot tears poured from his eyes and he sobbed to Sanae on how he had missed a chance. He had been overzealous and far too concerned with the rules. He should have given Neku the world for all he had done to him and now…now the boy would only remember him as a stain on his life.

“Yer not that bad.”

“Oh, _oh_ ,” Joshua said, “trust me, Sanae Hanekoma, I am that bad.”

“No, yer not. Y’gotta stop livin’ back then, J. Y’did it an’ it’s over. Calm down. Breathe. One, two…”

He sucked in a breath. It burned his raw throat and lungs.

“Shit, kid. Shibuya needs you.” Sanae rose up from his position next to Joshua and went to the kitchen to get a wet rag for Joshua’s face. He held it to Joshua’s cheeks and eyes while cooing at him to stop crying or he would get wrinkles.

The joke soothed Joshua and he giggled, just a bit. “Forgive me, Sanae. I am always collected. I suppose the impending surgery on my precious itty bitty is causing a strain on my nerves. Thank you, dear, dear, Sanae. You will always be enough for me.”

“You sure? I could whack ‘im over tha head and bring ‘im to ya.”

Joshua snorted a laugh at the imagery. “No. No hitting Neku. Why don’t we go out for the evening? I need a distraction and you haven’t gambled in two weeks. Come on, my treat.”

The barista lit up like a lightning storm over a rolling plain. “Hell yeah.”

Yes. Yes, this was enough.

\---

Holy fucking shit sticks the man teleported.

Neku had been incredibly caught off guard but had come back only to be told Kiryu, Joshua had left. He went after him and chased the silver-haired man to the back alley before watching as he wisped out with a curl of music and light. It was familiar. He’d seen that light before when his partner…his week two partner had used the power he shouldn’t have used. Neku remembered asking over a meal why the hell Joshua would enter a game if he was alive, and the guy totally avoided the question.

Of course. He wasn’t alive. He was a fucking angel or some shit. Yeah. That had to have been it.

Wait, no, because he _was_ alive right now. Wasn’t he? He felt alive, looked alive, sounded alive…and if a duck quacked it was a duck. If a Joshua looked alive, he had to _be_ alive, right?

Shaking his head, Neku felt a migraine coming on at his trying to remember more details. There was something blocking him and if he pressed he’d end up passed out in the alley behind the clinic. Instead of dwelling further on it, he went back to work, threw himself into mundane tasks, and decided to wait and talk to Beat about it. Beat was there that second week. He remembered that much. If anyone could understand what the hell Neku was going through, it was Beat.


	4. Chapter 4

“What’dya mean, he just up and disappeared?”

Neku was sitting at one of the booths at Ramen Don’s eating one of Beat’s new dishes. They hadn’t named it yet, but Don had it on the menu as the spicy sweet something. People had ordered it enough to be impressed and Beat was given a small but meaningful raise. He loved working at the restaurant, and was currently on break between rushes.

“Well, yeah.” Neku took a bite of food, slurped and swallowed. “I watched the bastard up and just disappear. Meaning, I saw him dis-a-fucking-pear.”

“Yo, man, ain’t no reason ta get pissy,” Beat warned. He leaned forward in his seat and placed both arms on the table, folded together. “Look, man. I don’t remember much ‘bout that prissy shit but he sure as hell couldn’t do that, right?”

He took another bite-God he was hungry. “I don’t remember.”

“Maybe he’s tha Composer. We were lookin’ for that guy in the third week.”

Neku stared at his partner. He remembered the first time they met how Neku had been such an asshole to Beat and his sister. The memory still pained him to this day, but over those three weeks they had become an inseparable group of friends. Over the years after…well, yeah. Neku smiled at Beat, and the beefcake grinned stupidly back.

“I love you,” Neku whispered.

Beat shrugged and continued to grin. “I know dat, yo. Now ‘bout this prissy shit who got ya upset. Do I need ta choke a bitch?”

“That meme is hilariously out of date, Beat.” Neku forked in another mouthful of noodles and slurped at the broth that dripped along them. He ate some of the meat and the little cakes floating in the broth, and he sighed as the warmth in his tummy made his nerves calm.

There was love in the food.

“Okay,” he finally said, “we killed the Composer because we came back. So if we did that, he could have become the Composer in place of the other guy…and that’s why we can’t remember.”

Beat looked dumbfounded. “Whoa, man. I ain’t never thought of dat. Sounds right. Yeah. YEAH! If we beat the old guy then the new guy had ta be a young guy like us!”

“Of course! Shit,” Neku laughed, “I guess that explains all the nightmares. God, I’ve wanted to remember that kid for so long but this…I never thought about it that in depth.”

“So’s you good, right? Now we can let it go.”

Neku shook his head. “Hell no. I have to figure out why Joshua didn’t even look for us.”

“Duh. He couldn’t.”

Right. There were rules in the UG just as there were in the RG. Joshua…he must have been heartbroken to not be able to come find his friends. To watch as they grew old alongside him-wait. No.

“Can’t be right. Joshua’s too old.”

“Huh, shit.”

“Damnit.” He sat back against the booth. “Shit. Wait. Maybe we’re wrong about the last guy being old? Maybe they can be any age they want?”

“True. But if that’s the case,” Beat began to laugh heartily, “how the hell’d we know if he ain’t tha Composer tha whole time. Like them Reaper shits. They manipulate and trick players. What if J did the same thing to you?”

_“How did you die?”_

_“Hm? How? I wonder…hee hee.”_

Neku slammed his hands on the table on either side of the empty bowl. He stood up, kissed Beat on the mouth, and stormed out of the restaurant. He pulled his phone out, searched for the records he kept on the veterinarian’s online system, and found the address for Joshua Kiryu. It was a breach of information but he couldn’t care less now with the smarmy image of the boy staring at him burned into his brain. That guy. Whether or not they were the same Joshua, Neku didn’t care. He needed answers, and it was as if the city herself wanted to grant him his request.

He hurried through the Scramble and further in before following a road off the side of Cat Street near the WildKat café. Which was another thing he needed to do. Get answers from the one guy who could probably have solved this years ago. But from what Neku could remember, the kid Joshua and the man were in cahoots and Mr. H wouldn’t have said a thing. He was cryptic when it came to his secrets.

The apartment building he finally came to was tall and wide. It had thirty-three floors and several penthouse style apartments under the one main penthouse at the top. Neku entered the building to find a marble floor and a shimmering silver elevator with several waiting people standing near. They looked at him like he was an outsider, even in his doctor’s uniform. What the hell were these people up to where they thought they were better than a trained physician?

Well, maybe it was the vet thing but he appeared no different from any other medical professional.

It took forever to reach the top floor with the other people stopping along the way. Neku would have tried to book it up the stairs, but he knew even in his prime he would have stopped far below the top. Once the last person left the elevator, he waited for the quiet, mechanical box to make it the last few floors.

Finally, after what seemed to be hours, Neku stood in front of the one door on floor thirty-three.

He raised his hand to knock, but hesitated. What would he say?

Are you the one in my nightmares?

Did we play a game in our mid-teens where we were both dead?

Were you dead?

Who the hell are you?

Hello, Composer.

Ooh. Neku liked that one. He knocked three times on the door and waited. While he did, the elevator had long since abandoned him. It left the area as still and quiet as a graveyard and Neku shivered as he realized he was stuck. There would be no backing down from this.

Click. Click.

Someone on the other side of the door was undoing the locks and the chain. If Neku peeked in the peep hole he could see a shadowed gaze staring back at him. The door creaked, groaned, and finally pulled open with a gentle hello not far behind.

It was him. The bastard.

“Hello, Composer,” Neku said.

The man froze, but did not dispute. “Hello, Neku. Come in. I just returned from a night out on the town but I would love for some company. I can see you, too, require a little companionship.”

“Yeah, no, not really. I just want answers.”

Joshua turned away from him and entered the apartment proper. He went into the kitchenette and began to mix a drink. “Neku, don’t dawdle in the doorway. Come in.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Neku argued. He shut the door with little force, not wanting to be rude by slamming the hell out of it. “I don’t want nothing to drink.”

“Oh? Are you sure? This conversation,” the Composer sighed, “is long overdue. Please, sit. Make yourself comfortable in my home.”

He shrugged off his coat and slung it over the back of the sofa before taking a seat on one of the fluffy cushions. “So you don’t live in the sewer.”

Joshua gave a melodic laugh. “Heavens no, Neku. Please allow me to get you something. A beer? Perhaps a soda, since you are technically working tomorrow.”

“Technically?”

The Composer said nothing as he dug a beer from the fridge and carried it over with what appeared to be some fruity martini. Sitting down, Joshua sipped his drink before setting it aside on a glass table. He popped the top of the beer and handed it to Neku. “Yes. The Higher Plane will be upset about this. You may forget all of this conversation and possibly your time in the game as well. I attempted to keep what I could in your head, but…unfortunately it was not my call. Yes. I was your second week partner. Yes. I am, and have been the Composer for quite some time.”

All of the questions Neku had fell to silence upon Joshua’s soft words. He felt deflated. Empty. Completely and utterly lost. But a hand on his made him come back to reality and the realization that he wasn’t the only one hurt in the process.

“You shot me.”

“Yes. Twice.”

“Why?”

“I am sorry, Neku,” Joshua sipped his drink again, setting it aside once more, “I did not want to hurt you or anyone in my city. I was blinded by fear. Fear for the future of the UG and fear for the future of my people if things did not change. The world was cold. Unfeeling. Artless. Creativity was slowly fading and the one thing a Composer needs in their UG is creativity. You were my bright spark. The darkest of souls in a world swirling with pain and confusion. You…you were the only one I needed.”

“All of it,” Neku finally took a long drink of the beer, “was you.”

“Yes.”

“I am so angry at you.”

Joshua sighed. “I know. I am sorry. I cannot change it. You are still my bright spark. I will still love you and miss you as much as you miss me. You wanted to meet me there, remember? Oh, the words hurt and yet filled me with joy. You, a sullen boy changed by death into an angel. Well, not a real angel. Those types are hit or miss with the assholery.”

Neku snorted a laugh. He wasn’t sure if it was the beer or Joshua’s presence. “I fell in love.”

“With Beat. I saw through the research I did on you, my proxy. The moment I saw you in the veterinary clinic I realized I must catch up with you. I thought about changing offices. I should have. Forgive me for the further harm I have caused. Oh! Would you like to have dinner? We could talk more.”

“The beer is fine,” Neku said, cradling it in his hands on his lap. “Josh…I had nightmares about you for years. I thought you were just another Player. I thought you lost.”

“Oh, Neku,” Joshua sighed with a soft edge of love around the words, “you poor thing. If I had known you were suffering I would have taken everything away.”

“No! I mean…no. Don’t. My friends and I…we…we loved how we met.”

“But would they be your friends if the circumstances were different?”

“Yeah, but-“

“There you go. I will request you take me up on my offer. I can make it all go away.”

“But what about you?”

“What-“ Joshua appeared affronted. “Me? I will remain Composer and you are not allowed to remember that little detail.”

“It’s not that. You don’t have friends, do you?”

Joshua flinched.

“I knew it. You have to be alone to keep Shibuya safe. I understand that. But I want to be your friend and I promise-“

“Promises are like water, Neku. We need them to live but our hands cannot hold them for long.”

“Josh…”

“Will you do one thing for me?” Joshua turned to face Neku. “Let me kiss you. One time.”

“You’re…not doing anything funny are you?”

Joshua shook his head. The curls of his silver hair bounced against his alabaster cheeks.

“Okay,” Neku whispered. Beat would understand. Beat would understand. Beat would-

As the lips brushed his he closed his eyes and felt the world tilt below him. It was suddenly apparent that Joshua was taking everything from him and he shoved out at the Composer with as much force as he could, but the apartment…the building…the street…they were all lost to him. He was standing in front of the WildKat with a beer in his hands and confusion creeping into his mind like soldiers on a mission. Every memory began to fade and whoever…whatever…what…where?

Where?

Why was he…?

How…how did he get to here from Ramen Don’s? Wasn’t he just with Beat?

Neku trashed the strange looking bottle and coughed at the aftertaste in his mouth. He must have gotten trashed or went out with friends and forgotten-

Oh, shit! He forgot…forgot something…?

Checking the time on his watch he cursed when he saw it was way, way past time for dinner and there were several missed calls on his phone. He dialed Shiki’s number and laughed it off with a quick story that he got distracted because of one thing or another. They would talk about it for days to come, he knew.

Neku could be such a bobblehead at times.

\---

“Are you happy?”

Joshua stood on top of the WildKat with his kitten asleep in his arms. She had already been fixed and was sleeping off the drugs. Sanae stood beside him and had the good sense not to touch or try and comfort the Composer.

“Of course I’m happy. Neku is happy. Finally,” Joshua turned from the scene, “he can be happy.”

He closed his eyes and disappeared.

It was what he did best, after all.


End file.
